Pretty self-explanatory, but this is something that hit me early this week.Two things that happened.The first is something a friend said to me a couple weeks ago that kind of popped into my head.Inspiration can come from anywhere I guess.He’s a good old boy from the west side of Toledo.Working grunt who did prison time, but he’s my homie.He said “You were blessed with a gift, don’t waste it”.Something to that effect.Secondly, it reminds me of one of my favorite movies of all time.A Bronx Tale where Deniro tells his young son the saddest thing in life is wasted talent.Not sure why but both of those things entered my train of thought and had a strange effect.

Back to the story.My buddy saw me in my prime when I was making a good living.I was supporting our sober living house at the time in many ways.He saw what I am capable of from being an old finance and benefits guy.I helped him get back on his feet and was able to create some savings for him and his kids when no one else would give him the time of day.I listened and helped.That’s what friends do.He was working his butt off and was in a custody battle for his son.The man was doing all the right things after getting out of treatment for the umpteenth time.I saw it in his eyes that he wanted to do better.He still does, and he’s even relapsed quite a few times since then.

I don’t give up on folks though.Especially if I know they have the drive.He also has a talent that seems to be going to waste, so I constantly pester him about it.He’s a barber and a very good one at that.He’s got a little chair set up in the place he’s living now earning extra cash doin’ fades, but his regular gig is maintenance work at the very place I work in admissions.Sometimes things come full circle.

All of this begs the question of whether or not I am just wasting my time or should I move on to something different.I am willing to admit I never planned on coming back to my hometown.I never wanted to and I never thought there would ever be anything here for me.Definitely not in my previous chosen profession.If you want to be at the top of the game in finance, it is not in Ohio.Now that I am not on that path any more I’m not sure what to do.

Also, after the pandemic we have learned that you do not have to live in NYC, Chicago or L.A.to work in finance capitals.Remote work has made it possible to be present anywhere.I look at that aspect and realize I could go back to do something in fintech or healthcare technology or be part of a startup somehow.That can be done anywhere or on the road which is something I always enjoyed about my previous positions.Being out in public, selling and meeting new folks was my favorite part.

That’s why sometimes I feel I’m wasting my talent, because I don’t see the light of day very often.I am not a large part of the business development process, and it keeps me shut away from the world.I do not like that aspect.It wears on me often.There’s a different angle.I can appreciate it as a learning experience.I’m teaching myself something completely new.I get to work with some amazing people, and it's a new challenge everyday.

The only issue I see is that it may not be the thing I want to do for the rest of my life.I cannot keep running at this pace, and not moving forward in life.This is what causes burnout and resentments.I am sure plenty of people are in the same boat as I am.They’ve either been stuck or wanting something more, but just don’t know what to do.Almost feel like you are running in place.It's times like these that I tend to take a step back and want to reassess my values and priorities.

Look at the positives of the experience and find a happy medium.Find the silver lining, and move with purpose.

Goin’ With The Flow

I started writing a few years ago, and it kind of just took off.I mostly write for myself, because it is cathartic.It helps me express emotion and get things out of my head.I am nothing if not honest when I write.Sometimes it aids me in finding a solution to age old problems.

You never know when you’ll have an “AHA” moment, so that’s why I keep writing and trying new things.Might as well.We only have a finite amount of time on this earth.Might as well have a little fun and piss some people off.I think this attitude is what keeps me in place for now, and going with the flow of my day to day.The structure of my day job and the flexibility allow me to do other things outside of that work.

I use what I learn within those walls to shape what I want to do from an entrepreneurial standpoint.This is why even if I believe my talents are being wasted within the organization that I can keep forging ahead.I have outside interests that keep my mind and body sharp.I may not like being a larger part of the team, but I also see it as a blessing.I have less responsibility!Yay!I’m not anyone’s boss, but pretty much myself.I add my contribution and move on to other fun stuff.

When I dive back into my other projects in the evening or early mornings my creativity comes through.As long as I have enough energy of course.There’s definitely times when I am completely burned to the ground.Last night was a very good example.I worked 14 hours straight with no breaks.It was a day for the record books.I got threatened to be fired.Got yelled at.Became terribly angry and exhausted.All in all it was a very rough day.That’s how healthcare is sometimes.

It’s a thankless job every so often.It takes a certain type of resilient person to work in a treatment center.Someone who has been to hell and back and can withstand some of the worst humans imaginable.They may not be after they are out, but when they admit to the facility they’re selfish, self-centered assholes.Karma is a real thing.The way I see it is that anything I endure here will just make me that much stronger.

At the end of the day we are helping the people who really do want it, and the ones that are travelers will continue on their selfish journey.That’s just life.As for me, I will keep trucking along until I find what I am looking for.No clue what that is right now, but isn’t that half the fun.Finding out.It’s freeing when you actually think of it.

Not being bound by some corporate overlord who’s threatened by your every move, or constantly second-guessed by a small business owner who’s cowardly.At the end of the day, I can always move to another facility.Staffing shortages have proved to be a buyer’s market in this industry.Everyone needs help at all different types of treatment facilities.It's just the nature of the beast right now.Plus, you never know, maybe I’ll strike gold on one of my individual efforts.

That’s it for this general rambling.Keep on keepin’ on..

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