A Gentleman’s Response

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ryan_stengle

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Communication9 min reada year ago
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Summary
Ai Rating
6.3/10
Harsh Language
Yes
Positivity
good
Emotion
Neutral
Facts vs Emotions
Balanced

Don’t think there is any amount of AI resources that I could pull from to write this particular newsletter.This one may be only for a certain audience, but it is something that I adhere too consistently.In short, live life in a gentlemanly manner.Here’s a short list of things and one of the better journals out there on gentlemanly behavior: Things That Make A Gentleman.I don’t always act correctly, and I can definitely be brash and uncaring in many ways.I’m an asshole a lot.

Part of my nature and I accept that about myself.Usually it’s when I have an anger inside me or a rush of emotion that just fogs my brain.I lose all inability to remain calm and collected.We err as humans.That doesn’t mean that consistently you cannot act accordingly to help protect your good nature.The picture above is from my makeshift bookshelf and the sign there was given to me by my boss as a present.

It hit me extra hard the other day as I was on like day 11 of 12 days in a row working and my exhaustion was getting to me.I was getting short on the phone with people, and my brain was not working correctly.I had run out of steam.This exhaustion, sadness, angers all carried over into the weekend once I finally had time to rest.I tried to just rest, but for me, it can be difficult and plus there’s people I want to see and enjoy their company.

Time is not my greatest friend currently, because my work schedule and my entrepreneurial efforts keep me from enjoying certain parts of life.Pretty sure that is where this notion of gentlemanly behavior comes in and the picture referenced above.That list has a few that reign true for me always which are: Never confuse confidence for arrogance, anything worth having is worth working hard for, and keeping an open mind.

Also, it is pretty clear to me that I know how to dance, so we can put that one to rest.I’m an amazing dancer.It’s science.I had another writer’s block moment when going through this topic, but then something happened where it all just came clear to me.This woman I have been sort of seeing (no label yet) just drove me to the edge of anger and resentment.I blame it mostly on our star signs Gemini and Sagittarius mix well and not at all.It’s a sickening relationship.

One minute can be absolutely miserable and a fueled rage where we want to kill one another.Then all of a sudden we’re planning a trip to Greece.That’s literally in an hour-long conversation.It reminds me of someone very special from my past.Very similar relationship except she was a Pisces.Now lots of people don’t like astrology or what it means, but I enjoy the philosophical and relationship basis of it.Whether we like it or not it is somewhat accurate.

We will never completely live up to the star sign unlike myself, but we can heed some lessons from it.This particular experience as of late was 100% accurate learning how a Sag and a Gemini interact.Life lessons if you will.One of the main ones was that even if we fight it will be short-lived and all will be forgiven quickly.It also proves that my gentlemanly manner took over mixed with some Sag.I was horribly upset with her for being stupid.

I did not say that of course, but I openly and honestly was very direct with her.Both qualities of a gentleman and a Sag.We’re direct communicators.That’s just how it should be in my opinion.Luckily my direct approach worked very well.We apologized to one another and moved on.No longer an issue.A gentleman says what he means and means what he says.I think that’s one of these notions that I like the best.

I’m not the loudest in the room anymore where back when I was partying and a young douchebag I sure was.Now I’d rather be true to nature and just listen to other idiots talk.I speak when spoken to and respond when necessary.A direct, intellectual response to a problem or conversation is always much more powerful than someone rambling on.

Shut Up and Listen……

This reigns true for me.I had an old boss point something interesting out to me early on.I was a young guy in one of my first asset management firms.We were all out at dinner meeting the big Managing Director, and my director of sales got sloshed hilariously.We were all at the same table drinking wine, enjoying each other’s company and discussing topics that are not normally discussed in business settings.Topics like religion, politics and other personal things.This was so far from normal.

Usually it's very surface level topics, but they thought it would be fun to get weird with it.They wanted to learn about everyone and in all honesty it brought us together way better than stupid sports or business discussions.Funny thing was I just sat and listened practically the entire night to these drunken morons go on and on about the state of the presidency, foreign policy, difference between catholic and Jewish faiths, eastern religions and how many gold diggers we had in the firm.

It was entertaining.The Director of Sales finally muscled up some liquid courage to ask me why I wasn’t talking much.Instead of letting me speak like a true jackass.He pinpointed the fact that all night every time I ever talked was to make a very serious point or hilarious joke that killed.I spoke very little, but each time I did it landed.That’s when he said “Stengle, you don’t talk much but when you do you’re one of those guys that hits it on the head”.He was right.

In these types of situations I prefer to be reserved.It’s a good lesson for those that can’t shut up.Your character is more powerful when you ask questions and gain more knowledge than when you are attempting to act like the smartest guy at the table.Because that is all you’re doing is acting.We garner more respect and people seek your opinion when it matters.Even now when I need an opinion about something.I do not go seek out my friends that are the business development guys.

They’re full of hot air and have like two answers for everything.I’d rather speak with my therapists and more reserved introverts in our crew.They observe and know more than anyone who is the sales or face of the company.Goes back to my preference for weird introverted friends, because they have more depth.This all illustrates how a gentleman should move through the world, and what is expected of someone that wants to gain respect in their current environment.

Remain Open Minded

I am always a fan of not rushing to judgment on someone or a situation.We all have issues with this, because by nature we are bias.Stereotypes are half-truths and people judge.It’s life.I don’t have to force myself much anymore, but I will be open-minded along with honest all in one fail swoop.I am not a fan of being reserved too much anymore.Speaking directly sometimes is the only way one can get through to another.

It doesn’t mean I don’t respect your opinion or think you matter.Sometimes people just say stupid shit.Own up to it that’s all.I say dumb crap all the time, but I make a joke of it.It’s more fun that way.I have to be a lot more open-minded these days, because I don’t rub elbows only with high society anymore.In fact.I am glad I don’t.I’d much rather be aligned with the weirdos and scumbags of this earth.They make life more entertaining.

It’s taken a lot of listening and remaining open to remember and learn that not everyone comes from where I do.That doesn't mean we don’t have things in common.One of my talents has always been being able to find a common ground.I think that’s something that has allowed me to navigate multiple cultures and personalities.That is exactly part of my own personal gentleman’s playbook.I’m always happy to learn about someone else’s experiences.

I have a strange feeling that was something that was formed during my travels around the U.S.and abroad.There is a lot to learn about people across this great nation.Just ask this Brit.That’s what it means to remain open-minded though.In that video, that guy who is a Brit in our country defends Americans, because he took the time to learn why Americans are not the most well-traveled.It’s a very simple answer.You literally don’t have to leave this country to see some really cool ass shit.

Plus it’s massive compared to other areas of the world.In Europe, you can be in a whole different country within like 45 minutes to an hour.I think that’s why it’s easier for them to mix cultures, because it’s geography working in their favor.People in Europe can have summer homes in a completely different country that’s extremely close.That means a completely different language, culture and cuisine all within a couple of hours.Funny thing is that can happen here too.

Just head South for a while you’ll experience some weird ass stuff.Learn a lot about Jesus and how liquor is made.It’s a lovely part of our country.Southern cuisine is still one of my favorites.It’s a heart attack waiting to happen, but delightful.There’s a lot to learn about someone if you take the time to experience their life firsthand.That’s what I mean by remaining open-minded.

It all goes back to gaining knowledge and being equipped to carry on a proper conversation with interesting facts and quips.Another lesson in being a gentleman.Be interesting, open-minded and knowledgeable..

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